Ever find yourself fighting against God? I have. It makes no sense.
- If God is all-powerful, things will turn out the way he wants. It’s inevitable.
- If God wills for ultimate good to triumph, why resist?
- If God is all-knowing, why insist on having things my way? Do I really think I know better than God?
Besides, when I fight reality, reality always wins.
Unfortunately, self-will is sneaky and dies hard. A few years ago I attended a four-day writers’ conference, convinced it was God’s will for me. I volunteered for service opportunities, looked forward to promoting my first book and to being interviewed for an ongoing writing gig. Above all, I was excited for the chance to find a publisher for my second book. In my eagerness, I denied my body’s ongoing physical limitations. Less than 24 hours after the conference began, my body rebelled and I was forced to slink home.
Apparently, God and I hadn’t seen things the same way after all. It took weeks to work through my disappointment and accept reality. I have disabilities. The symptoms may not be apparent to others, but the challenges are very real. It’s self-defeating to ignore them, no matter how much I want to.
Evidently God, who knows all about my limitations, achieves his plans in spite of my willful schemes. Although I could not attend the conference interview, I received the ongoing writing assignment anyway. Eventually, I was offered a contract for my second book—my new publisher hadn’t even attended that conference.
When my conviction about God’s will is wishful thinking on my part, whenever I’m trying to force outcomes, I’m fighting reality. Whenever I accept circumstances exactly as they are, do my best, then let go and trust God with the outcome, I feel peace.
Why struggle? Even if things don’t go my way, they can still turn out just fine.
Who guessed faith involved accepting reality?
Prayer: Lord, help me trust that you have everything under control.
Reflection: When have you found yourself fighting against God? What happened?
Gideon replied, “But Lord, how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least important member of my family.”
The Lord answered, “You can do it because I will help you…” Judges 6: 15-16a
God, it seems, loves to work through the weak and helpless.
- David was overlooked by his family as the runt of the litter, but defeated Goliath and became King of Israel.
- Peter, a poor, uneducated fisherman was chosen by Jesus chose as the rock on which to build his church.
- In more recent times, Mother Teresa, a little nobody from nowhere special, is known throughout the world for her loving service to the poor.
Maybe those who feel their weakness find it easier to turn to God and rely on his power and wisdom.
When I think I have all the answers and feel self-sufficient, it rarely occurs to me to look beyond myself—until I run into problems. When I’m smack up against my weakness, it becomes painfully evident that I need help. Even then, it’s not easy to ask for or accept it.
God is the never-failing source of help I can turn to—as long as I don’t expect help to accomplish my will on my terms. When I surrender to God’s will, I always find peace, because I can trust God to give me what I need (to do what he wants, not what I want.)
In my weakness, t’s always a struggle to lay down my will and my expectations, but when I do, I’m never sorry.
How about you?
Prayer: Lord, help me trust that your strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Reflection: How do you react when you feel weak? How can letting go of self-will and surrendering to God’s plan strengthen you?
I’ve got a Martha mind. That makes it challenging to “be still and know” God when I want to pray. Even if nothing in particular is troubling me, my mind does mental gymnastics anyway. I’ve tried various things to slow my thoughts: deep breathing, slowly repeating a word or phrase, focusing on an object or picture. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don’t.
The other day, they didn’t. So instead, I pictured myself welcoming Jesus into the Martha/Mary home of my heart. I imagined myself sitting at his feet, like Mary. I even leaned my head against his knee and relaxed. I gave myself permission to ignore Martha’s clamors and just listen to Jesus, like Mary did.
Maybe that’s why Martha appealed to Jesus for help in getting Mary’s attention. Martha had tried to get her sister to join her, but as long as Mary focused on Jesus instead of Martha, Martha’s bustling couldn’t distract her.
I didn’t have to pay attention to my Martha mind, either, even though she insisted. I sat there, at peace, listening to Jesus—only he didn’t say anything, and that was okay. Just being with him was enough. After a few minutes, as any good host would, I simply asked him what he wanted. He answered simply, too. One word. Kindness. That’s all my heart heard. But that was enough.
Prayer: Come into my heart, Lord.
Reflection: If you sit at Jesus’ feet and listen, what will you hear?
When I struggle to make things to go my way I feel frustrated.
When I accept circumstances exactly as they are at any given moment, I have peace.
I can relax and accept reality instead of trying to control it. That doesn’t mean I don’t make choices. Once I accept things as they are instead of wishing they were different, I can decide how I want to respond.
When I resist others who don’t say and do what I think they should, I feel resentful.
When I don’t take other people’s choices personally, I have peace.
It’s no longer a battle of wills. That doesn’t mean I become a doormat. If I can’t make others do what I want, they can’t make me do what they want, either.
When I fret about not living up to other people’s expectations, I feel stressed.
When I focus on what I think God wants me to do instead of trying to impress others, I have peace.
I don’t have to worry about pleasing them. That doesn’t mean I don’t listen to honest feedback, but I know other people’s opinions of me don’t make me better or worse than I am. My self-worth is never truly in jeopardy because I am loved by God.
In other words, whenever I get out of my own way, I have peace. Trusting that God is in charge instead of me relieves tension. God has all power and is always on top of things-whether or not it seems like it to me. I can trust that things are unfolding the way they are meant to. Even difficult people and situations have a purpose. They can be learning experiences, opportunities to grow, or motivation for change. I can trust that if I am trying to do what God wants me to do, I will have all the power and resources I need to do whatever I am meant to do. I can trust that the results are in God’s hands, not mine.
When I surrender to God’s will, my bitterness turns to peace.
Prayer: Lord, increase my desire to live for you.
Reflection: If living for God instead of ourselves or others brings peace, why resist?
Comparing ourselves to others is a lose/lose situation. Tempting as it might be to prop up a fragile ego when we seem ahead, it’s a set-up for vanity and looking down on others. On the other hand, if others seem more talented or accomplished, we open ourselves to envy, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. What have we got to gain except a false sense of superiority or inferiority? Why bother? Life is not a contest.
That doesn’t mean we can’t shine. If we focus on what we are doing and we’re doing our best, we can feel good about ourselves. We can take healthy pride in our best efforts and their results. We can be grateful for the abilities we’ve been blessed with and the opportunities to use them. It doesn’t matter how that stacks up against someone else’s gifts or accomplishments. Besides, there’s never a level playing field. We are all individuals with different physical traits, backgrounds, opportunities. Why compare?
What’s stopping us from feeling good about ourselves? If what we’ve done is good, it’s good. Other people’s achievements can’t take away the goodness of our efforts. Other people’s lack of achievement can’t make our efforts any better than they are.
Judging our own conduct keeps us grounded in reality and focused on what we have control over—ourselves. That sounds like freedom to me.
Prayer: Thank you Lord, for my abilities. Help me focus on using them as you want me to today.
Reflection: What have you done today that you can feel good about?
God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves very complicated. Ecclesiastes 7:29b
When my daughter was little and I was working full time, if I wasn’t doing at least two things at once I felt like I was wasting time. It felt proud of being so efficient and getting so much done, but I was wearing myself out mentally, emotionally, and physically. Truth be told, I wasn’t all that nice to be around. I was gaining the whole world of accomplishment and losing myself in the process.
What makes our lives so complicated? Trying to balance work, home life, and relationships is no small challenge. Maybe without even trying we find ourselves with more irons in the fire than we can handle. Or maybe our minds are busy planning ways to get people to do what we want or to force circumstances to go the way we think they should. Maybe multi-tasking as a way of life makes us feel smart or important.
How can we keep ourselves simple in the midst of our complicated lives? We can let go of self-will and practice acceptance. When we spend less time and mental energy trying to figure out how to get things to turn out the way we want, we feel more serenity. Accepting reality instead of trying to manipulate it saves wear and tear on our nerves.
We can try taking one thing at a time. Not everything is a priority, even if it feels that way. If we’re asking to do God’s will, we can trust that what’s meant to get done will get done in God’s time. Not necessarily today (much as we’d like to have all our ducks in a row) and not necessarily by us. Taking a few minutes to figure out what really must be done today might show a number of things that can wait until tomorrow or even longer.
It’s surprising how when we step out of frantic activity, we gain perspective and can take care of what’s truly important as opposed to what feels urgent. The sun will come up tomorrow and the earth will still turn, even if we don’t cross everything off of our to-do lists today.
Simple doesn’t mean shallow. It means eliminating the clutter so that what is important can emerge.
Prayer: Lord, keep me simple.
Reflection: How can I simplify my day today?
When the angel told Mary she would give birth to Jesus, the Son of God, she had many reasons for saying no: her youth, her unmarried status, her unworthiness, her fear of the consequences. Instead, she accepted, saying, “I am the Lord’s servant.” Instead of serving her fear, or public opinion, or false humility, she was willing to serve God. In surrendering to his plan for her, Mary served not only God, but other people as well. She brought Christ and his saving grace into a world badly in need of saving.
Mary could have ignored the angel’s words, or gotten busy with some activity to drown out the call. But she listened. She pondered and questioned how it could be, but she listened and accepted.
What are we busy with? Might our activity prevent us from hearing what God’s plan is for us? What might keep us from surrendering to his plan instead of our own? How is God calling us to be his servants? How might he want to use us to share his saving grace with the world…or perhaps with just one other person?
Mary didn’t have to know the future, all she had to do was say yes and follow, one step at a time. God provided all that she needed along the way, including a husband to provide for and protect her and the child. Everything unfolded as it was meant to. All Mary had to supply was the willingness to surrender her will to God’s. That’s all we have to do, too.
Prayer: Lord, I am your servant. Open my heart to your plan for me.
Reflection: What does God have in mind for you today?
In my trouble I called to the Lord; I called to my God for help. In his temple he heard my voice; he listened to my cry for help.
The Lord reached down from above and took hold of me; he pulled me out of the deep waters.
The Lord alone is God; God alone is our defense.
The Lord lives! Praise my defender! Proclaim the greatness of the God who saves me. Psalm 18: 2; 6; 16; 28; 30; 46
Who doesn’t want to feel safe—especially in these uncertain times? We’re going to feel vulnerable if we depend solely on our own strength, other people, or man-made institutions. None of these can guarantee perfect safety. With God we are safe. Trusting him doesn’t mean we won’t experience pain or trouble. It does mean we won’t be abandoned.
When I’ve been in over my head I’ve called out to God. He’s pulled me out of “deep waters” lots of times. I think my first mature, honest prayer was as a young social worker many years ago. I felt it was my responsibility to solve a crisis my client was facing. I wanted to rescue her—but I didn’t have the power or resources to do so. Up against my own limitations, I panicked. Drowning in my own anxiety, I cried out to God when I wasn’t even sure he was there. I was guided to take just the next step, and then the next. The situation slowly resolved itself. Somehow my client and I both go through that crisis…and it certainly wasn’t by my own strength.
If you’re like me, maybe you’ve been at the end of your rope too, sometimes due to external circumstances and sometimes due to inner turmoil. Although our loved ones may care very much, there isn’t always much they can do to help.
In some situations there is no one to turn to except God. When we do, we can trust that we are not alone–no matter how it feels. God is well aware of exactly what is going on and probably understands our limitations better than we do. He can rescue us from deep waters. We might get drenched, but we will not drown. Praise the greatness of the God who saves us.
I encourage you to read through the entire Psalm and reflect on whatever passages speak to you today. Here are some questions to start:
- Why is it safe to trust God for protection?
- When have you been in over your head? What happened?
- In what ways can God keep us safe if he doesn’t remove our problems?
- How has God saved you?
- How can you proclaim his greatness?
Protect me, O God; I trust in you for safety.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; all the good things I have come from you.”
Those who rush to other gods bring many troubles on themselves. I will not take part in their sacrifices; I will not worship their gods.
You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands.
How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are!
I am always aware of the Lords’ presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me. Psalm 16: 1-6; 8
When I’m afraid, this psalm never fails to comfort me. It becomes easier to trust in God for safety when I remind myself of all the good things I have in my life. It helps to recognize that, one way or another, they all come from God. Even when life is painful or chaotic I can find things to be grateful for if I’m willing to look. Although I might feel like I need a microscope to find them, I can see that willingness to look for the good is a gift in itself.
For today, I have no interest in joining those who rush to other gods, mainly because I’ve done it and brought troubles on myself. I’ve relied on my physical comfort, strength, and health. I’ve trusted my intellect, employment, and other people. All of these have let me down at one time or another. I can use and enjoy these blessings, but I can’t afford to make idols of them anymore. My security is shaky if I do. There is only One who has never let me down. If the resources I lean on are taken away, I have to believe God will provide some other way. He always has.
God truly is all I have and He does give me all I need. I found that out when my first marriage ended and an MS attack left me unable to take care of myself. Business as usual was not possible. I didn’t see how I could possibly manage without the supports I was used to. I was way out of my comfort zone and terrified. I didn’t get everything I wanted and it didn’t come on my timetable, but somehow I got everything I needed. Faith moved from my head to my heart. It wasn’t a pretty process, but God got me through to the other side. He truly was all I had during that time, and He truly was all I needed. My future is safe in His hands.
How about you?
- Who or what are you trusting in today?
- Can you trust in God for safety?
- What good things are in your life? Can you see them as coming from God?
- What “other gods” have you rushed to? What have you gained or lost in the process?
- How is God giving you all you need?
- How can you call to mind God’s presence when circumstances are shaky?
- Why can awareness of God’s presence in the midst of trouble bring you peace?
What does living in the grace of God look like? It probably means we stop trying so hard to earn God’s love. Grace is a gift, not a salary. We don’t have to do a single thing to be worthy of it but we have it nonetheless. Accepting love and forgiveness that we didn’t earn—that we couldn’t earn—doesn’t mean we don’t pay a price. The price is humility. Not a “shucks, I’m not worth it” or groveling self-loathing, but a healthy recognition that God loves us exactly as we are, warts and all
A spiritual director once told me, “God is crazy in love with you.” How humbling. God knows all about me, including the things I’m not too proud of. And he loves me anyway. It’s too good to be true, but it is. Christ was willing to give his life for little old me and for every one of us—even if we don’t care or don’t even notice. Our indifference or arrogance cant stop his love, although they might stop us from experiencing it.
What does living in the grace of God look like? Here’s a few things that come to mind. Please feel free to add to this list.
- Awareness of God’s grace would keep us humble—a good antidote to judging or looking down on others.
- It’s a good antidote to looking down on ourselves, too. We’re loved by a perfect God! What more do we need?
- We don’t have to prop up our self-worth by tearing others down or showing off.
- We don’t need to pretend we’re better than we are.
- We don’t need to impress anybody, least of all God. We can afford to be honest because that is how God loves us.
- We don’t have to be stingy or self-centered. We can afford to reach out to others in love.
- We don’t have to beat ourselves up over past mistakes and wrongs. God knows all about our past and still loves us. He’s waiting to forgive us when we turn to him.
- No need to count the sins of others to avoid looking at our own.
Living under the grace of God sounds a lot like heaven on earth, and it’s free for the taking. After all, that’s why they call it grace. We don’t have to hoard it. We can afford to share it with others.
Prayer: Lord, your grace truly is amazing.
Reflection: How can living in the grace of God change your day today?